that sweet?

life itself, when understood and utilized for its means, is sweet.

"sweet? you mean like honey?" asked pooh.

"well, maybe not that sweet," i said.

--benjamin hoff, the tao of pooh

so this is the book i've been reading for school. and it's so adorable. i like it. it's about taoism, which is about turning the negatives in life into positives--even if you're having a crummy day and all you wanna do is inhale down a pint of ben and jerry's, curl up under the covers, and watch america's next top model reruns all day long. (okay, i made that last part up. but that's what i'm inferring it to mean.) and i love it. when i asked for it in barnes and noble, i was shocked x 10 to hear that it was in the humor department. humor? wait a second, school assigned us something humorous? but yep, there it was. in the humor section.

i'm liking it.

i got a haircut today. or a hairtrim is really how i should put it, haha. i HATE/HATE getting my hair cut with a passion. maybe because my mom cuts it. (love you, mom!) and because if i get annoyed with her, she'll mind and i can't just not tip her or whatever, i have to live with her so if it's ugly it makes it excruciating to move about the house. seriously. this one looks okay, though. last summer's haircut made me look like a guy. and not even a hot one at that.*

i'm packing for cooperstown already. i'm trying to think of everything i'm going to need and i know i'm going to bring way too much stuff--last time we went on vacation, at the end of august last year, i overpacked by about three pounds which i had to lug up (and down) a huge steep set of stairs. we rent an apartment on the top floor on a street just about five houses down from the beach. our family's expanded since we first starting renting it out, like ten years ago or so, and it's getting kinda cramped after all this time. except i think we ALL realized this by now, so it's all good. =]

yeah, i know i'm probably going to bring something cute/fancy/wildly-inappropriate-for-a-baseball-tete-a-tete, way too many shoes (ballet flats are just as acceptable as flip-flops! and sometimes comfier!!!), a bathing suit that i doubt i'll need, jeans just in case it gets cold (it can get down to like 57 during the night), a few sweatshirts--that's just the stuff i won't need that i'm bringing anyway. then i'm also bringing shorts, tank tops, flip-flops, tees, polos, toiletries (we have to share a bathroom. we're the smallest family going, since we're split into two, but everyone has to share bathrooms because it's four families in a 3-bathroom house), and blankets, and perfume, and books, and this laptop, and chargers for my ipod/phone/camera/etcetera, and probably some dvds. wow. i wasn't even sure of what i was gonna bring until now. this helped. =]

oh, i was reading something on aren's blog about music and how it takes you back to a time and place. i love that quote from just listen, by sarah dessen. i love her books as well--they're amazing, simply put. =] a few of her books are on my summer reading list and now, well, i'm probably going to reread just listen, even though that's more of a fall book. but anyhoo, music. and how it can transport you to another time, when you were different--or times were different--and your feelings were different too.

like camisado, by panic at the disco. i was listening to this song just before we went to visit my grandpa in the hospital a week and a half before he died. i can still remember the way i cried in the car on the way, as we passed under an overpass, the tears coming slow and careful. the way they traveled over my cheeks and dripped onto my sweatshirt seemed to take an eternity. and i remember the scratchiness of my sweatshirt. and i remember crying when i saw him.

or the reason, by hoobastank. (off topic: hoobastank is the best band name ever. i laugh every. single. time. i see it.) i remember listening to that song the last day of school one year, lying on my bed and writing in my journal, the warm summer breezes ruffling my sheer curtains. it reminds me of summer.

or one day robots will cry, by cobra starship. october song. songs have months and dates and memories assigned to them--my brain kinda does it subconsciously, i think =] --and this takes me back to last october and november and the things that happened. a sad feeling, kind of. melancholy.

so yeah. songs have definite meanings to me, and times and places. i was just thinking about that today, actually. =] weird.

oh, and one more thing.

best friends can yell at you and scream at you and tell you the truth, no matter how harsh or criticizing it may be, and even though it hurts to hear it, you know they're right because they know you just as well as you do. that's the worst part, because a best friend can't lie and won't lie so you might as well not even try to avoid it. that's how you know who your best friends are. instead of hearing the truth and thinking, no, she's wrong, she's lying, i don't want to hear this, you hear the truth and think, wow, this person knows me better than i do. and she's right.

yuppers. deep. =] or maybe it's just cuz it's 10:19 and i'm still writing. i just wrote a really "deep" part of the story. which is still unnamed. i need to name it.

gahh. i'm gonna go finish this story. i promised myself yesterday i would. and then i fell asleep on the keyboard.** drool much? =]

well, toodleoo!

xoxo,

caiti

*if i'm gonna have a guy haircut, i would at least want to be a hot guy. wouldn't you??? otherwise what's the point?

**i've always wanted to do that! hahaha.